It's not your job to be smart anymore
What is it that I loved about college? I’ve been trying to figure it out because I’ve been thinking about grad school again. I think about grad school about once a year (I think it’s the school-supply air of fall that does it), and wonder if I ought to revive my collegiate goal of becoming a professor. It still appeals to me, and my latest variation includes a marriage of my two fantasies – adjunct professor and business owner.
But really, I think I just want to be in college again, to be a student again. I was a good student. I mean, I was really good at it. I’d really like to give my senior year another shot though. I used to brag about the fact that I was drunk when I wrote the majority of my 83-page thesis in just one month. I got an A-. Imagine what I could’ve done sober.
I did love being a student. I loved to read and extract the ideas, put them in a historical context, spin them together with something new. I could write a 12-to-15-page paper on almost anything in 3.4 hours and consistently earn high marks. One professor like my ideas on Kurt Vonnegut and Thorstein Veblen so much, he invited me to do an independent study with him.
None of that matters in my job, and it doesn’t matter in the majority of the business world. I’m sure there are companies and positions where it does matter, but the reality is that once you leave college, nobody is asking you to make a business of having an informed mind, questioning the way your mind works, or finding an outlet for your creativity. That’s been the truth I’ve found anyway.
And that’s fine for a lot of people. But four years after graduation, I find myself craving it again. I’d left college with the idea that I needed a year or two of “life” before going to grad school, so I didn’t burn out, so I could be sure. I sure have lived, that’s certain.
But really, I think I just want to be in college again, to be a student again. I was a good student. I mean, I was really good at it. I’d really like to give my senior year another shot though. I used to brag about the fact that I was drunk when I wrote the majority of my 83-page thesis in just one month. I got an A-. Imagine what I could’ve done sober.
I did love being a student. I loved to read and extract the ideas, put them in a historical context, spin them together with something new. I could write a 12-to-15-page paper on almost anything in 3.4 hours and consistently earn high marks. One professor like my ideas on Kurt Vonnegut and Thorstein Veblen so much, he invited me to do an independent study with him.
None of that matters in my job, and it doesn’t matter in the majority of the business world. I’m sure there are companies and positions where it does matter, but the reality is that once you leave college, nobody is asking you to make a business of having an informed mind, questioning the way your mind works, or finding an outlet for your creativity. That’s been the truth I’ve found anyway.
And that’s fine for a lot of people. But four years after graduation, I find myself craving it again. I’d left college with the idea that I needed a year or two of “life” before going to grad school, so I didn’t burn out, so I could be sure. I sure have lived, that’s certain.
posted by Holly Hoffman at
10:39 PM
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11 Comments:
you said: "but the reality is that once you leave college, nobody is asking you to make a business of having an informed mind, questioning the way your mind works, or finding an outlet for your creativity. That’s been the truth I’ve found anyway."
i think this is the thing i love the most about my chosen profession (psychology)...the fact that it is not ecouraged, but also required that we have an informed mind, question ourselves and each other on the way our minds are working and the option to publish and teach are ways in which we can have an outlet for creativity...im almost done with school (for now) but i look forward to the lifelong commitment to learning that is inherent in any good psychologist.
whats your field? just wondering...
None of that matters in my job, and it doesn’t matter in the majority of the business world
it all seems pretty simple to me
your heart's beating towards PhD
make peace with your soul
back into college enroll
and a prolific thought-leader you'll be
after graduating in 2005 i started a business. 3 years later i find myself signing up for post-graduate studies; it took me a while to figure out what i want. i never used to jump out of bed in the morning
I've noticed this myself. I enjoyed the learning aspect of school, but was frustrated in part by limited chances to apply some of this in a real world setting.
Then in the real world, while you have a world in which to apply things, the opportunities for learning, and applying that knowledge can be limited.
Thanks for writing this, because it explains why I've been enjoying certain projects like programming (which I haven't done in almost 10 years), because it's giving me a real world problem to solve and the ability to research and learn the best way to solve it.
@shatani: Right now, I'm a marketing research analyst. It's not my dream... more like what pays the bills right now. I'm jealous of your profession. I've wondered from time to time whether or not counseling would be a good place for me. I've heard something like 70% of psych majors get into to learn what's wrong with themselves. That would be me. A lot of people in recovery are inspired to get into counseling because of their experiences, only to become disillusioned later. I guess that's why I hold back on that one.
@anonymous: Digging the poems! That's interesting that you started a business, then went back to school. I'd love to be able to open my cafe and teach some college too. How cool would that be? The best of both worlds.
@adam: I've always been fortunate to have positions where my boss has given me room to roam in projects outside of my analyst role. I find that once I've wrapped my head around something, I'm bored and ready for more. I find that I can dig in vertically, not just horizontally. That is, getting a deeper knowledge of what I've already learned. This is where I find my greatest limitations - without the appropriate resources or opportunities to apply it, then the power of the knowledge is lost.
If you can find a way to get a job working for a big university, you'll get free tuition and take whatever classes float your boat (without worrying about a degree). That's my plan now that I have a job...once I wrap this PhD thing, anyway ;-)
When I was in college I always said it'd be my dream job to just be a college student.
Anyone figure out a way to do so, let me know.
Perhaps one day colleges will hire really, really smart people to come study at their colleges, sort of like athletic endorsements.
@Adam, I thought that's what National Merit was? Sadly, it's only for four years...
I've come to feel that "being good in school" as we were is truthfully a bit of an escape. Being an academic allowed me to avoid "being good in life".
Now, this is not a judgement against rebecoming an academic. I've pondered that too. But for me it was a question of giving and taking. I want to give now, and to me, institutionalized education is about taking. I like producing passionately. I think rather than perhaps retreating, it'd be more challenging and fruitful to forge ahead looking for that passionate profession, not just a day job.
You've got the guts, I can tell. Grad school would delay your journey, in my opinion. But that's just my opinion, maybe it'd be an excellent part of what your journey's supposed to be!
So, don't listen to me...
Peace.
@ holly...i would say a LOT more than 70%! lol
@ honey...thats part of my plan as well. especially once i have kids...they goin to college free dangit!
Oh I love this post title. I've said many times that I don't quite know what to do with myself because "being smart" was all I was ever good at.
I'm also a recovering alcoholic who wrote my MA thesis mostly drunk. I sometimes wish I could do grad school over sober.
-Rachel
DITTO.
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